I spent most of yesterday mourning the loss of my best real life friend. Meaning one I actually see in real life. She is most likely moving across country to go to grad school and that is a wonderful thing for her and I am happy for her. At the same time I am sad for me. This is the only friend I have that I see in real life. Even tho we will IM and maybe someday she'll come back for a visit its not gonna be the same. The last several years, if one of us had a few extra bucks we could hop on a train and spend a few days together. We went camping with another friend of ours and took trips , all of us together. That friend has already gone away to a different school. It seems that my friends grow and go away. Anyway, its gonna be a huge loss for me no matter how it goes and yesterday was the peak of my depressive cycle and thats what I was being depressed over. I had several weepy bouts thru out the day and sent soppy offlines to my friend. I also saw my shrink yesterday and she doubled my prozac. I am better today but not due to that as I havent filled that prescription yet. Its just the cycling. I am still sad over my friends probable move but I am not weeping about it today. Today I actually got a little housework done without it seeming overwhelming and painful to do. Cycles , cycles, cycles. I debated over posting this as I do not want to say anything that would upset my friend but I figured she should know how valuable her friendship is and how much it has meant to me. I will add more to this later, its not done yet , but I am not quite ready to finish it.
Friday, July 16, 2010
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4 comments:
Oh Raine, I'm am so sorry. I know how important it is to have someone there in person to hold on to and communicate with. To have them move away is a tremendous loss. I will be thinking of you during this difficult time. ((((Raine))))
Raine, its never wrong to tell a friend how much you appreciate her and will miss her being there. I am sad for you but you have figured out the reason for your sadness and have started to get some other things done. Thats worth alot. I'll be thinking about you and hoping that there will be more joy coming your way in the next few days. Tonight while walking home from a neighbor's house I saw a rabbit sitting quietly in the alley. That brought a smile to my face. (((Hugs)))
Hi Raine,
I'm sorry about the loss of your friend. It is good that you know yourself so well and know where you are at in your cycles and that you got an extra boost soon with your meds. Its never easy to lose a friend to long distance. ((Raine))
'Tart
hey lady -- i so understand how you feel - i really do. you feel things -and people very deeply -- like i do. you write this post as if your friend is dead and gone-- never to be seen again. but it isn't that way. you know that. you just won't be able to 'see' her or visit each other the way you're used to . but remember - if you or she are in a crisis - there are ways that being together will be possible. and that's the most important thing. there's always phone and text and facebook. she's really always a second away for a laugh or cry together -- and if you really need her or vice versa -- that can happen too.
like you - separation feels like death to me. in reality it's not. maybe it's just Gods way of telling us that it's time to stand on our own for a while. you'll be ok. you know you will.
go butt fishin - how can ya be sad if you're butt fishin? :))
that just doesn't sounbd right , does it? bwa hahahahahaha
hugs to you - today and everyday !
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