possible trigger

The night before last I was standing in my back smoking and then all of a sudden wham! flashing red and blue lights right at my fence. The police were blocking all entrances to my apartment complex and not letting anyone (76 apartments) leave. I went to the front door to stick out my head just as my daughter catapulted thru it, frantic to know that my grandson and I had not been shot. There had been shots fired IN the complex. At first all we knew was that people had been shot, we didn't know if it was a random thing, a gang, thing or what. so we stayed inside with the doors and windows locked. Over the next few hours rumors flew. Many people watched from a short distance as body bags were brought out of an apartment in the back. The stories differ on exactly who it was but they all agree on one thing. A husband/boyfriend killed a wife/girlfriend and them turned the gun on himself. He was alive when he left in the ambulance, I believe it is thought that he no longer is. There is a story that there was a brother or friend there that was killed also making it three. There was a story that it was a mother of 4 that had been killed , then the next thing we heard was that the mother of 4 had been seen at the hospital after passing out from hearing that her parents were gone. So right knows except for the murder/suicide part of it. I have been waiting to hear in the news about it but we are a small town and evidentally dont rate air time. I guess I will check the papers. This kind of thing really shakes a person up and it reinforces my delusion that when I have mega panic attacks people start dying. Cause there you go- people have died. I just hope that was it and there is nothing more bad to happen. Yes I know it sounds delusional but I can remember every panic attack I have had and each time people I loved started dying. This time it hasnt been anyone I love but perhaps the close proximity will qualify and it is done. I pray its so.